if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
