I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
