Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
