I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
