You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She bit a glass in half.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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