lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
