Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
