I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
