I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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