All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
