Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
