Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hate all girls vehemently.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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