So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Im part way to drunk.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
