he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
