Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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