the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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