Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
