i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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