well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
