Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
