We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize