Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize