i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
