So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
