if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
