Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I want her autograph on my taint
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We left the knife in your bed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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