he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
