im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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