Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
