she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
