Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
