She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
