I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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