Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize