I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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