Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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