so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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