i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
