I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
