I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
