North Korea, Best Korea!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
