I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
