I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
