I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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