I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize