I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
