I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
her vagine was all disorganized.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
