he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
