you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she pinky promised me she was 18
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
