I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
