no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
