This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
