i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
