I am puke
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
