She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
