i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
