haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
