Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
