she was so not down for the gang bang
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
